Essence of true love

True love does not have reference of past and future. It exists in the "NOW," a present time. It is a spontaneous joy within a person. A person shares; showers it for no other reasons and no other motives. It is expressed without any conditions. A true lover never imposes one’s ideas, desires, and on to others. A true lover never possess someone. Rather love makes others feel free. A true love for someone gradually transform into a love for everyone. Love graduates from self love, to love for someone special to love for everyone. It transcend from being selfish, conditional to unselfish and unconditional love. It’s a transformation into a higher state of being.

Many people love, but then their love is very much contaminated by hate, jealousy, doubts, anger, and possessiveness. Love is delicate like a glass. It breaks easily and once it breaks, pieces can be joined but it cannot become the one it was earlier.  Just think of any one emotion may it be anger, doubts, hatred, possession, or jealousy: how can love survive? In love, most often people move into the head, start intellectualizing love; over analyze relationship, often do cost-benefit analysis. In this intellectualization of love, heart is left behind, emotions are ignored. The mother of love, heart, where love is born, is forgotten, only body and intellect remains. More dependence, but less inter-dependence. Persons in love interact more with body and intellect and less with heart, insights and true emotions. Talk more, but listen less. Trust more but understand less.  Have more sex, less intimacy. Person starts owning each other, possess each other. This is the time when persons begin claiming other as their own. This is what is expected. It is a conditioned response. It seems as a basic human reactions in love. It looks good for some time. Gradually, analytic mind start looking at negativities, weaknesses of others and soon become intolerable. Then the whole journey becomes bitter. Instead of attaining peace, life becomes a noise - conflicts, dislikes, angers, that disturbs the harmony. Love is all about sharing knowledge, energies, feelings and time. Love is being together, not owning to each other. Love allows other to grow, does not own other. Love makes others free, does not bind other. Love creates inter-dependence, does not make others dependent. Love make a person confident, free from fears and anxieties. Love is all about acceptance and unconditional positive regards. Love is spontaneous, no need to make efforts to express it. When all negativities are wiped out, love is natural phenomen. Its automatic.

To overcome negativities, a person needs to transcend from negativities to unconditional acceptance and celebration of being. All negativities are poisons and as buddhism expresses, "a person needs to transform poisons into medicine." OSHO said, “Learn to transform your poisons into honey.” I completely agree with OSHO, who suggested to be a patient to let negativities transformed into love. I often practice "patience." It helps me clean negativities from me and enable me to express love. You too try it. When anger comes, don’t do anything; just sit silently, take deep breather and watch it. Don't be against it, don't be for it. Don't cooperate with it, don't repress it. Just watch it, express your feelings, write them, and talk it out to self. Whenever you are surrounded by negativities just be calm, and/or go for a walk.  This will help you to learn to be patient. Practice this often and make it a habit. Let patience rise…and just see what happens. Once state of patience is consistent, negativities are transformed into strength. In this state, love evolves spontaneously. You feel joy within and become unconditional. Why do you wait, start experimenting from now and experience the true love. Don't forget to share your experiences here. You can share your comments/feedback, thoughts or reflections on this.